A couple months ago she quit sleeping in her crib. We fought it at first; trying cry it out, trying to lay next to the crib, trying to nurse her to sleep and then lay her down in the crib. Nothing seemed to change her mind. It was almost as if she was afraid to be in it. She is our fourth, yet this was a first.
So, in desperation for her to get some sleep and for me to do the same, she began sleeping in our bed. It wasn’t what we had planned, but it worked. Part of me, deep down, feared what people would think (how silly ). And part of me worried how we would transition from this (even though having three older kids, I KNOW they don’t stay or come to your bed forever).
Time has passed and she is still sleeping in our bed. As I was laying with her at nap time the other day, I thought about all the ways I really love this time. While we didn’t plan to have her sleep in our bed, most nights, my heart overflows with gratitude as I feel her snuggled next to me. I love feeling her little hand on me. I love knowing she is sleeping so peacefully. And I know this...it won’t last forever. Instead of worrying about what will come next, I’ve decided to really enjoy this NOW because these days truly are fleeting.
Life doesn’t always go the way we plan. It doesn’t always look the way we envisioned but if we can somehow let go of those expectations a bit, we will enjoy right NOW so much more. We certainly (and I am saying this to myself the loudest) do not need to worry what others are thinking about us. If they are judging our decisions. Finally, we don’t need to always worry about what is next. With our children, with our careers, with our health; with whatever.
I want to stop striving so much; and instead rest with the peace of God. I want to be right here, in today, because it is a pretty special place to be and I sure would hate to miss it.