My day started with our 15 year old lab knocking over our 9 foot Christmas tree. It progressively got worse and by mid-day I was in tears. I felt overwhelmed and I was disappointed in myself. I want nothing more than to sit and be still; yet these last few weeks have been anything but slow. This has resulted in an over tired mama that has been irritable and without grace.
I am reminded of a quote I shared over a year ago by Rachel Jankovic. "Motherhood is hard work. It is repetitive and often times menial. Accept it. Rejoice in it. This is your toil. Right here. Those are their faces. Enjoy them. The days of your life are supposed to be full of things like this. But joy is not giddy. It is not an emotional rush–it is what happens when you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil. So rejoice in your children. Look them in the eyes and give thanks."
This afternoon we all went outside. Super girl and I played in the cold grass and warm sun. We laughed and laughed as she tried to fly through the air. This is what it feels like to exhale and just be; to be with my children and forget about the stresses of the day. This is what it feels like when I look them in the eyes and give thanks. And this is what it feels like when I see past all the trivial problems that I often over-exaggerate and appreciate just being together.
I said no to the school work, laundry and house cleaning that needed to be done. I said no to worrying about the mess that would be made. And I said yes to Christmas toes painted all by herself. I said yes to living intentionally with our five year old.
Sometimes, the most powerful way to show love is when we let our normal routine be interrupted and inconvenienced.
I have shared in the past about saying yes more to our children. Taking time to really hear their requests, before automatically saying no. Taking time to let our children feel important. Taking time to see them filled with joy. Taking time; even when it’s not convenient. I never feel my children are an inconvenience; in fact, they are one of life's greatest treasures. Yet, there have been times that I have been quick to say no, not now. I have not stopped. I have not given them all of me. I want to be more intentional in saying yes when I can.
Last week, our pastor talked about how God’s plans for us can seem like an interruption. They can seem inconvenient. They can seem impossible. As I thought of this, I realized there have been too many times that I haven’t interrupted my own schedule, my own plans, and my own life, to show His love to others outside of my home. I haven’t inconvenienced myself to stop and talk, to lend a hand, or to give an ear. I have been quick to judge and slow to forgive. Sadly, there have been too many times in my life that I was "me-centered". I didn't live this way intentionally; I simply let my own world, my own daily responsibilities and desires consume me.
As I look at this picture of freshly painted Christmas toes, I realize deeply that I want to extend this same offering of love to those outside my home. I need to do this. I can’t NOT do this. I think the power of love can be the greatest gift we can give one another; to our children or the shut in living next door, to our best friend or the person that has hurt us. Love is powerful.
How will I let God interrupt me today to show His love and grace? This is the question I want to ask myself daily.This is my challenge.
This will be our fourth Christmas in Florida since moving home from North Carolina in 2011. This time of year, I often miss the first snow of the season, Christmas tree farms with fresh trees, daily fires in the living room, and friends who lingered in the yard visiting while our kids played. Truthfully, there is a lot I still miss about the life we left behind.
This weekend we spent the day at a community wide event for our small hometown. We visited with friends from our childhood in 80 degree weather and sunshine. We saw grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins as we walked around the event. We came home and spent time on the lake and dinner surrounded by family. This is December, now in Florida. There is so much to be thankful for. I know that this is right where we need to be and I am grateful for God’s provision.
Perhaps, you are also missing a place or a person during this holiday season. I would love to say there was a magical way to make that pain or void go away. Instead, I urge you to look around where you are, see who you are with, and find the beauty in this season of your life. It isn't always easy, but it can totally change your perspective. It can totally change your life.
(On a side note, if you look closely, you will see our daughter is almost in tears in this picture. Yes, this is the reality of this time of year; busy days, not enough sleep, and sometimes extra grumpy children.)
Some days you guys drive each other crazy, but most of the time, this is what I see. You love to play together and I often hear your loud laughter from the yard as I am inside prepping dinner. You are 2 1/2 years apart, but just about the same size and have many of the same interests. So grateful for the bond I see you have. No, not every moment is smiles and togetherness, but I appreciate the moments that are so much.
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Our youngest child challenges me often with questions and observations about life. Last week we were in the car together when she asked, “Mommy, why am I dark?” She then quickly continued, “Is it because I am Spanish like Daddy?” Before I could answer, she stated, “And you are light because you are English. “ It was an interesting perspective from a five year old. My husband’s family is from Peru, although he was born and raised in the United States, and all three of our children look like him. We have never described people by their skin color; in fact, we have been very cautious to find other attributes about people when describing them. I now see how observant children can be. They notice things on their own and have questions. This wasn't the first time she brought up her skin or hair color to me. A few weeks ago she told me that she wished she had light hair like her cousin.
Last month, while getting her physical, the doctor suggested that we get her eyes checked. The first thing our daughter said to me was that she would look funny with glasses. I am surprised that she has so many thoughts about her outward appearance at such a young age. I always thought that if we didn't emphasize outward beauty in our home, that our girls would be immune to it.
As cliché as it sounds, I want them to grow up and see the beauty inside each person. I want them to see the character and spirit of others. I want them to appreciate each person’s unique beauty without comparing themselves or wanting to change. There are so many pressures as girls age to conform to a certain size and dress a certain style. The world and media heighten this pressure, which makes it hard for girls to realize that true beauty comes from within.
I pray that as our five year old matures, she will appreciate her individuality. I pray that our girls will not feel an inner desire to conform. I know firsthand how hard this battle can be. I want our daughters to know that they do not need to be anything other than who God has created.
I want our children to see that when they shine for the Lord, and live life with grace and love, beauty exudes from them. This is incomparable to anything we can create for ourselves.
When I see our daughter in these images, in the light overflowing with joy, all I see is beauty. I see His beauty. It is not her clothes or her hair or her skin I see. It is her spirit and her soul.
All three of you love to put the star on the Christmas tree, so now we let you each have a turn. I love watching how excited you each get for your turn.
It seems we never get quite enough daylight these days, but I sure do love the fall sunsets. The two of you love your impromptu play dates.
You have always loved to to snuggle and have always been so full of love and joy. So grateful to be your mama.
Ten years ago we only had one child. She was easy going, well mannered, and shared with other children. I would dress her in precious outfits with her hair pulled nicely in a bow. Our house stayed clean and we were usually on time wherever we went.
As a young mother, I never really understood when I saw mothers with multiple children. They often seemed to be barely hanging on. They told stories that I didn't quite understand. I remember wondering how they let their children leave their homes dressed in many of the outfits I would see. I didn't understand how their children could “act” the way they did. I thought I had it all together. I thought things would never change for us.
I now see how prideful I was and how sinful my thoughts were. I am honestly quite embarrassed as I think back on those years.
Now, we have three children. I have laundry that is never caught up. I feel like we are never on time. I often go to bed exhausted with dirty dishes in the sink. Baths sometimes get skipped and the clothing battles with our youngest aren't worth the fight.
I have learned so much since we had our third child. Her strong willed nature and her flair for fashion have taught me many lessons. I no longer wonder how a mother can let her child leave the house wearing a glittery Elsa dress and crazy red boots. I no longer wonder why a child’s hair is a mess and face is juice stained red. I no longer wonder why a child is having a tantrum in the checkout aisle. I no longer wonder why a family shows up late for a dinner invitation. I no longer see messes in the homes I go into. I have learned that the people I see daily all have a story. Every family has a story. Each person has their own story. There is a story I deeply want to know.
I see so much beauty I didn't see before. I see mothers who love their children and are doing their best to care for them. I see mothers giving their children freedom to make their own choices. I see houses that are lived and loved in. I see children, who are slowly learning how to interact with others, but still in need of guidance and love. I see families that are doing their best to fulfill commitments; even if they are 15 minutes late. I see grace overflowing. Yes, grace is what I see now.
Ten years later, I see the world differently. I am grateful I can humbly see we are not a perfect family and I am not the mother who has it all together. I am a mother in need of God’s grace and love daily.I am a mother who loves my family and is doing the best I can. And I am a mother who still has so much to learn.
You love to help mama and decorating for Christmas is no eexception I love your enthusiasm and excitement and pray I never forget these memories.
I was sitting by the lake today with a friend while our children played. We spent the afternoon talking about our dreams and passions. I've thought about this a lot lately and realize how often we are held back by fear. Fear of judgment, fear of disappointment, and fear of failure. Many people have stopped dreaming altogether. Past hurts have them paralyzed. Dreams have been traded in for reality and responsibility.
We all feel the pressures of a full life as parents who stay at home, parents who work outside the home, newlyweds, grandparents, or students in school. We all fill unique roles and it seems we are all busy. Our days are filled and often times, we don’t stop to dream. We go from one day into the next and life seems to be going okay. But, are we living with purpose? Are we living with passion? Are we using our passions to live a life for God? Do we even remember what makes us feel alive?
This week in the car, I heard this quote from Francis Chan, “Our greatest fear should not be of failure, but of succeeding at things in life that don't really matter.” These words rang loud in my ears.
Our time here on earth is so short. I want my dreams, my time, and my decisions to be made in light of eternity. So often, we focus on things that don’t really matter. We get caught up in the today of our life and lose sight of important truths. I know I've spent too much time worrying about insignificant things. If the truth be told, I will likely waste time in my future as well. We fear failure and we let others opinions hold us back, but our most important question should be if we are living for what matters. We all need to take time to dream. We need to seek what God has planned for our life. We must let go of the world’s opinions and standards and live in His glory.
In Jennie Allen’s book Restless, she shares the following, “Paul wrote, “If I were still trying to please men I would not be a servant of Christ” ( Gal. 1: 10) . Western mentality has shaped our views of work and success and calling so deeply that it is difficult to shake the idea of pleasing and impressing other people. God is asking us to get over it.”
As we head into a new year, let’s make time to dream and to live passionately for Him. Let's not allow fear to paralyze us anymore. Let's dare to live for what matters, even when it's hard.
I was so proud of your Thanksgiving cupcakes. You searched online to find a recipe that you wanted to bake. You made your list and then you baked and decorated them all by yourself. I love watching your creativity blossom.
It is easy to give God thanks during good days and when prayers are answered “our way”; yet giving thanks during the mundane and disappointing days can be much harder. I am challenged to give thanks even when I am hurting, to give thanks when things don’t go as planned, and to give thanks through the ordinary days.I don’t ever want to take the mundane for granted, but sometimes I do. Time spent with my family, time to serve and love you all, is a blessing that I want to recognize daily. I realize that I often let disappointments and frustrations, become louder than my thankfulness. I am realizing how deeply I want a life that is not centered on me and my desires, but a life centered on God and His desires. This way of living is not always easy, but so essential as we humble ourselves before Him.
I want Thanksgiving to be a way we live within our home every day of the year. I want gratitude to overflow from our hearts always.
“In everything give thanks; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18
