Viewing entries in
The Joy Project

1 Comment

Light

It has been a long time since I have shared Pito’s story. Months of hard realities have passed as we have watched his health decline. Through it all there has been a light that has shined brighter than any dark moment.

A light I see in all of Pito’s children; my husband and his three brothers. A love and a bond that is so special to witness. A dedication to their parents and a love of family that is so evident in every decision they make.

And then there is Mita. A light that shines for all of us to admire. She has strength that amazes me with every passing day as I know her heart and body grow weary and tired. Grace that I learn from constantly. And faith that is unwavering. Her heart breaks while she stays by Pito’s side always, caring for him with devotion and love.

Many times in our lives we question God’s plans. We don't understand the paths He has us travelling, yet, if we keep seeking, we will find His light through all of it. He never forsakes us. And through it all, He show us pieces of Him through others and in subtleties of our lives.

I have seen Him through every part of Pito's story. May we all continue to hold strong to this truth :

"What we suffer now, is nothing compared to the Glory He will reveal to us later" Romans 8:18

1 Comment

Comment

hello, summer break

It is hard to believe her elementary years have come to a close. As I look back on these years, I am so grateful for all of the time we have spent together. Four years ago, we decided to homeschool; making the decision to take it a year at a time. I was scared to head out on this new journey alone, but I clearly see that I have never been alone. God has provided every single step of the way.  

There are definitely days when I question myself. Days that are challenging and exhausting.  Yet, I truly believe that some of the most rewarding things  in life take hard work, perseverance, and complete surrender to God. 

As parents we all must make choices for our children and no choice will ever be completely perfect. There are things we sacrifice no matter what direction we chose.  Each family and each child is so unique. For us, this lifestyle decision has been such a blessing.  

There are new adventures ahead as we will have a 6th grader, 3rd grader, and Kindergartner in the Fall.   I feel blessed to have these days with our children, watching their hearts as well as their academics grow.  We will continue to take one year at time, seeking His plan for us always.  Today, I rejoice in another year of schooling together and look forward to the summer months ahead. 

Comment

1 Comment

amazing grace

We were walking through the grocery store last week when I told our youngest daughter that she could pick a toy for a treat that she had earned. She picked a Barbie. A few aisles later, she changed her mind; which is pretty common. She began crying and saying she wanted something different. I told her we would not be going back to that aisle until we finished shopping. Her tears escalated. Her voice became loud. Her feet began kicking in the cart. I pulled over, to have as much privacy as I could find at the grocery story, to discipline her. I explained that she would no longer get anything, because of her behavior. She now escalated into a full tantrum. Yes, at 5, our daughter was screaming throughout the grocery store, in true spoiled fashion. Her brother and sister were mortified. On this particular occasion, I couldn't leave our groceries and go home. I had to finish shopping. We proceeded to the checkout line and her screaming continued. 

I stood there in complete embarrassment as the cashiers all around us tried to make her feel better, all the while, she continued with her fit. We finally got home and dealt with the issue and we then moved forward; yet, that day still feels fresh in my mind. 

As mothers, as parents, we never really have it all together. Our kids certainly don’t have it together at all times. Motherhood is a constant journey of humility and grace. There are times I still strive for some unrealistic appearance. And there are days that I somehow manage to wear that mask well. Sadly, I think we all fall into this performance at some point. 

I would love for more of us to truly come together as a tribe of mothers. A transparent tribe that says this is certainly a wonderful journey, but it’s also hard. We can be grateful and love the gift of motherhood, but we can be humble enough to show others that we aren't super mom or super woman. We all have struggles, some more visible, some more hidden from the world. We will have our moments when we shine and times when our kids shine, but this isn't a reality that we can portray 100% of the time. We need to encourage our sisters in motherhood through their triumphs and their trials. Let’s give ourselves permission to take our masks off and show our moments or days of weakness. This doesn't mean we aren't strong, in fact, having the courage to do this requires strength far greater than we often realize.

I want other mothers to look at me and see that I love our children and I am doing the best I can. I will mess up just as much, if not more than our children. I pray God will continue to mold me and my family on this journey. And my vision of success is not having it all together; it’s displaying grace and humility to all those I am around. Through this, I have found a new compassion and admiration for all mothers; for all people. 

This image was from the same day we had our grocery store incident. I see her and all I see is our smiling sunshine. Grace; it is something pretty amazing, even on the hardest of days.

We were walking through the grocery store last week when I told our youngest daughter that she could pick a toy for a treat that she had earned. She picked a Barbie. A few aisles later, she changed her mind; which is pretty common. She began crying and saying she wanted something different. I told her we would not be going back to that aisle until we finished shopping. Her tears escalated. Her voice became loud. Her feet began kicking in the cart. I pulled over, to have as much privacy as I could find at the grocery story, to discipline her. I explained that she would no longer get anything, because of her behavior. She now escalated into a full tantrum. Yes, at 5, our daughter was screaming throughout the grocery store, in true spoiled fashion. Her brother and sister were mortified. On this particular occasion, I couldn't leave our groceries and go home. I had to finish shopping. We proceeded to the checkout line and her screaming continued. 

I stood there in complete embarrassment as the cashiers all around us tried to make her feel better, all the while, she continued with her fit. We finally got home and dealt with the issue and we then moved forward; yet, that day still feels fresh in my mind. 

As mothers, as parents, we never really have it all together. Our kids certainly don’t have it together at all times. Motherhood is a constant journey of humility and grace. There are times I still strive for some unrealistic appearance. And there are days that I somehow manage to wear that mask well. Sadly, I think we all fall into this performance at some point. 

I would love for more of us to truly come together as a tribe of mothers. A transparent tribe that says this is certainly a wonderful journey, but it’s also hard. We can be grateful and love the gift of motherhood, but we can be humble enough to show others that we aren't super mom or super woman. We all have struggles, some more visible, some more hidden from the world. We will have our moments when we shine and times when our kids shine, but this isn't a reality that we can portray 100% of the time. We need to encourage our sisters in motherhood through their triumphs and their trials. Let’s give ourselves permission to take our masks off and show our moments or days of weakness. This doesn't mean we aren't strong, in fact, having the courage to do this requires strength far greater than we often realize.

I want other mothers to look at me and see that I love our children and I am doing the best I can. I will mess up just as much, if not more than our children. I pray God will continue to mold me and my family on this journey. And my vision of success is not having it all together; it’s displaying grace and humility to all those I am around. Through this, I have found a new compassion and admiration for all mothers; for all people. 

This image was from the same day we had our grocery store incident. I see her and all I see is our smiling sunshine. Grace; it is something pretty amazing, even on the hardest of days.

1 Comment

Comment

the shift

There always seems to be a subtle shift in our home with daylight savings time. Clothes are traded for bathing suits, lunches begin to take place at the pool, outdoor play continues until the sun sets in the evening hours, and daily baths seem to happen in the lake, pool, or hose.

I am so grateful for this slow and simple rhythm that continues into the summer days. It's such a special time of childhood; of motherhood. I wish I could bottle these memories somehow. This image does that for me in some crazy way. This scene I walk into throughout each day is a quiet reminder of all there is to be grateful for.

It isn't the "stuff" of life that makes my heart race; it is the everyday living. It is the everyday beauty.

Comment

Comment

Easter eggs

the joy project march 31.jpg

I love Easter. Not because of the eggs or hunts or family gatherings. I love Easter because of the Cross. I love this time of the year because it really makes me pause and reflect on what Christ did for each of us. I love the reminder of His amazing, sacrificial love for us.

Ann Voskamp sums up so much in these words,

"And this week, Jesus looks you right in the eye, and He takes that yoke off your back, He takes that weight off your mind, He takes that heaviness off your heart -- and He carries it because He wants to carry you.... to carry you right through.
He looks you right in the eye & says, "I did it for love..." (Jn3:16)
He takes your hand & takes that crown of thorns & says, "I did it because I had to take you..." (Jn14:3) 
He takes that Cross you've been carrying & He lets you walk weightless -- *grace is weightless* -- and He says, "I did it because I desperately wanted you..." (Ro.5:8)
Who in this world has ever wanted us like He has?"

He is waiting for each of us. Today. And every single day. He pursues us like no other. It all comes back to one thing. LOVE. That weightless walk. That grace. We don't have to travel the roads of life alone. We don't have to carry our burdens and our brokenness alone. He is waiting. He is here. He is a hope that defies all darkness.

Yes, I love Easter, because it celebrates a freedom, a grace, and a love that I know only through Him.

It is through Him that I can find joy in all circumstances. It is through Him that I can know the meaning of grace. It is through Him that I can know the depth of selfless love. It is through Him that I am renewed each day. It is only through Him that I can live. Without Him, I am broken and lost.

My prayer is that each one of you would know Him too. It's so easy to depend on our flesh, to think we can do life on our own; yet, each day I am reminded of my need for Him and His never ending grace. And I'm so grateful He never stops pursuing me.

Comment

Comment

cousins

Only four months apart, these girls are such a gift to one another. I remember the day they met almost 11 years ago. Our daughter, only 8 weeks old, meeting her "big cousin" for the first time.

They would continue for years, seeing each other during the summer and at Christmas; growing closer with each visit. Tears were shed every time we said goodbye. They dreamed about one day being neighbors and getting to see each other every day. We all dreamed about one day moving "home".

In 2011, this dream became a reality. It has been such a blessing to watch them grow the past four years, together and independently; each with hearts full of love for others and God. They are on the brink of so much change and it is something special to have one another to share these un-navigated waters.

As I look at both of them, I can't help but think back to all the years we waited. We dreamed of these days surrounded by family. A vision I thought would always be a dream, yet here we are. I am forever thankful for God's provision in our life. For His plans, in His time, always. And it is a reminder to wait on Him.

Comment

Comment

soaking it in

Some days I just stop and stare at her. And I wonder how we both got here. She will be 11 in less than a month. I will be 40 in less than a year. I remember when my dad turned 40. I can still see the black balloons and the “lordy, lordy, look who’s forty” decorations. Most days, I still feel like I should still be in college; yet, the reality is that my own children are now closer to college age than myself.

We pour our hearts and our souls into our children; abundantly loving and teaching them. Sometime during all those years, our own youth starts to fade as we watch our children from the sidelines; cheering them every step of the way. There is definitely not one defining moment, but something so gradual that takes place. Sure, we sort of notice it on birthdays, but each birthday somehow turns into two decades of life quicker than we ever imagined.

I wouldn't trade one moment or year of this bittersweet circle of life. These years of motherhood have been filled with lessons I needed to learn; lessons that will be etched in my heart forever. I have experienced true joys and sorrows and realized the meaning of selfless love. I changed.. my heart changed.

Yes, somewhere along the way, I grew up, while watching them begin to grow. It’s a blessing unlike any I have ever known and it is why some days I just stop and stare. I nostalgically wish these days didn’t have to end, yet I know the reality is quite the opposite. It is the reality that brings tears to my eyes and a big lump in my throat. It is the reality that knocks me in the face every birthday we celebrate, with every year that flies quicker than the one before.

I know that these moments are fleeting and I want to just soak them in, however I can.

Comment